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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

One Thousand Gifts . . .

This gratitude post is more than a month old.  I never hit the publish button because it felt very mine, very much mine alone. 

 Sometimes we speak of things and lose it?  Or is that silly?

Even though I know I can't lose his love, sometimes I still travel down roads of past and know I don't deserve it.

It's still dark outside.  Morning is just beginning to stream down.

He's already up.

He comes back and lies down next to me.  Right in the little space on my left with the large expanse of king empty on my right. 
He holds me and I cry.  I sit up I lie down I sit up I lie down and I ramble and I worry. 

He lets me and tells me the same words he has said over and over lately, It's gonna be alright, Rie.

He listens and then prays what I need.

And all my thousand gifts I'm listing beside us on the nightstand. 

But him I can't list.  I can't count this kind of love.  I can't give it a number or a place.

Because it just is, and I'll never understand why me.

My gratitude list continues . . .

friends to watch him at the park

small iv needles

resurrection eggs

ticked off mornings with no backlash

loving texts and emails

once again bringing extra chairs in

forgiveness and forgiving

Craig's reminder - in small things or great

a daughter's servant heart

My list, #'s 641-649.

5 comments:

Cora from Hidden Riches said...

Oh, how I love this! I almost didn't want to comment, as it IS yours, so personal and heart-revealing. So I'm tip-toeing through. I just want you to know that I, too, have things that I can't seem to assign a number to. It doesn't fit. I'd have to relist it every day, over and over. So I understand. We have a "heart list." Stuff we carry every moment of every day, written through the fibers of our lives! I thank you for that reminder today. I feel free, in a way, to now keep them tucked away!

Greg and Donna said...

Amen to the extra small needles ~ that is definately a BLESSING from the Lord! Love you friend!

Anonymous said...

My gratitude list is knowing that you are alright. Even though I had to tell your mama to be brave...I cried, just a little! I am so thankful for being one of the only friends that was allowed to go see you and be able to touch you and to let you know you are loved. Now don't do that ever again! Ticked off mornings...LOL!

Lisa notes... said...

"Sometimes we speak of things and lose it? Or is that silly?"

If it's silly, I'm silly too (which is very likely!). I'm afraid to speak much about my husband and I praying together lately, for fear I'll "break the spell", as if there were such a thing. Lord, forgive.

Your words have moved me. Again.

Jennifer said...

Beautiful, beautiful post.

I am so happy to be reading a post from you again ... I have missed your blogging so much! I have to agree with Lisa, "your words have moved me. Again."

Drawing of me losing my cool courtesy of budding artist, Izzy.


Have a dressed up day!


. . . put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12