So My Thanksgiving Has Come and Gone

Thanksgiving found me browsing my blog and reliving my year.

What a serious year. 

Where was my humor and there is so much sadness on the lines and between the lines.

My mind seperates my years into two sides of memories.

Good years and bad years.

Hurt filled painful years like 1983, 1987, 1994, and 2000. 

There was 2004 and 2005. 

Years filled with a loss and change that made me feel like I was weighted and drowning and would never breathe peace again.

Then 2011.

New Year's Eve began with a tornado that brought wind and rain and silence that maybe whispered a sign of what was to come? 

But does our guard and prayers for strength in the good times for the bad times ever really guard us?

Does our faith and our trust really wrap us in prepared hearts and minds?

And I read yes in every post of remembrance. 

And in the pain of 2005 we walked a hard path into what was meant to be in 2011.  A place of purpose and questions answered when I wasn't sure that I would ever know why was that? 

And now I see.

And an unexpected day that turned this year upside down saved my life and can I ever question goodness and am I guarded and wrapped in grace?

Yes my mind shouts joy.

And those bad years shelve themselves with the good years

 for purpose and reason see plainly in time.

Family leaned in closer and loved harder.  Some friends stuck by me in this year of a change in me and some have grown quiet. 

A little more grace I needed as I struggled to make sense of hard times.  As I tried to comfort my first girl and her missing her soldier, my middle girl and her pain, and my baby girl and her fears.  As I tried to support my love who was making life changing decisions.  As I searched out

what my Father gives in unending gifts that may unwrap slowly.

So my Thanksgiving has come and gone. 

And my giving of thanks stays.

Thank you, Father, for 2011.  Help me place it, and the others, where they truly belong.