When You're Not In-Sync . . . but you love him anyway

Max was playing with the blood pressure machine and checked mine.  Thought I'd take advantage of this and try a little sexting with my lover husband. 

But . . .

Wasn't sure exactly what sexting was - so I looked it up.  Don't do that, y'all.

As you will see it didn't go as planned.  Maybe I didn't start out right?

My blood pressure is 84/53.  Now a play on words that he should understand - Am I alive?

That's low. Did you take it with the wrist at heart level?  That's what it says to do on the side of the monior.

He's not getting it.  But I'll answer his question and try again.

Now 80/52. Pulse 65.  I had it at heart level.  Next one 90/59.  Pulse 60.

Did you swap arms?

Yep.  Counted my pulse myself and it's right. 

 So, here we go again -  Maybe I need mouth to mouth.

I'll be glad to save your life.

Score.  He got it.  Here. We. Go.

You already have baby.  You already have.

I sent you a link on email. Don't think anything is wrong.

Huh?  We're backtracking . . .  Stay with me, baby.  Stay with me.

It says I could be pregnant?

Lol.

Lol? - the kids say that.  Yes.  Make him feel young.

You're so hip.

I think that was long before cell phones.

Maybe I lost him somewhere in translation? 

Oh, well.  There's always tomorrow.