When Faith is All You Have and Grace is More Than Enough

I am up and dressed.  Tired eyes lying awake long before the sun.

I'm going this morning to witness the death of a child.

And at this moment all the prayers of the past months that have been placed at the Father's feet are seeking desperate hope that a baby to be born broken with little or no life will emerge lungs screaming and breathing in air for a long lifetime.

A long lifetime.  A healthly long life.

And I try to pray sensibly.  With words shown to me by Jesus to petition my Father God.  But in the midst of them I find myself begging again for the doctors to be wrong.  For the miracle I want to see today.  For my friend's heart to not break.

And yes, I tell my child, we can question.  It is not wrong to want to understand something beyond the grasp of our minds and our hearts.

But then we stop.  We believe in the power and knowledge so as not to damage our faith.

Because belief in Jesus is breathing in air for an eternal lifetime.

We believe that what we think would be the best for now is small in what God knows to be the best for the future.

But then I ask

how?

why?

and one more time . . .

please.

It was not the death of a child I witnesssed.  It was a child going home.  For he is alive now more than ever.

Baby Canaan with Jesus.  Parents and family as strong as the oaks outside my window.  Bending but not breaking.  Holding breath to hold him again one day - eternally.

Because of faith.

Because of grace.