and then we had a wedding . . .

 

 

After the clouds, the sunshine; after the winter, the spring; after the shower, the rainbow; for life is a changeable thing. After the night, the morning, bidding all darkness cease, after life's cares and sorrows, the comfort and sweetness of peace. - Helen Steiner Rice

when it is right but feels like rain

The hail back in April gives us a new roof.  I lie in bed and listen to this rain that is deep in such a short time and remember the moment I first held you in my arms.  Deep can happen quickly and drowning in sweet newborn love gives you no way back and no way out.

And it had happened before and would happen again. 

You send phone writing to a beloved older friend and leave off the Ms.  Is that what happens when leaving home forever is only days away and you are growing to love someone more than the ones you are leaving behind?  I can't remember.  Did I feel older and equal and love stronger for what was coming than for what was going? 

I roll over and look at him and yes I did.

So you feel happy and grown and strong and only slightly frightened.  But one day you'll feel small and afraid and think this is not right. 

And when that happens know that you do not need a yellow brick road to find your way back home.  To me. 

So I can send you back and tell you it is only for a moment - so you can love him more than me.

when there is so much more to celebrate than just years

Mama stood Daddy up on their first date.  She didn't want to, but they had no phones so she couldn't contact him that she'd be going home for the weekend.

But on their next date they drove from Carthage to Kosciusko to get a Coke.

Then there was a ring in tiny box under car seat and my daddy said to my mama -

 

If I bought you a ring would you wear it?

That was over fifty years ago.

To be quite honest, I've been praying my daddy would live to see this 50th anniversary celebration my sisters and I had to keep secret because they didn't want a fuss.

That he would live to see fifty years with his Tot. 

And God is good.

It could only stay a secret for so long - 'cause Mama would have been angry with us if she had not been given an opportunity to have her hair done.

So we celebrated my mama and my daddy.

We celebrated obstacles and hurts and happiness and crazy life and near death and years of barely getting by that they conquered to stand aged and worn and tired and beautiful together. 

To my darlins and lovely nieces and nephews -

Grandma and Petepa have not always had an easy time of it - as most couples can say after fifty years - life has given them some hard blows and challenging times.  But they are together now to see and hear the beautiful and hilarious HeeHaw tribute from all of you because they never gave up on each other and their love.  They fought to obey God's word and stay together. 

And their prayer for each of you is that you find the same happiness and have the same strength to bear life with only one person by your side.

Our family is on a near impossible streak, and to be honest again it would be a miracle for all thirteen of you to not have one broken marriage that cannot be humanly repaired. 

But miracles happen every day. 

Giving your grandparents up one day will be hard for each of you.  But on the day that you gave them the beautiful gift of laughter and honor -

you can know that each of you have made them proud and created for them a legacy of love.

All of you have made the long drive from Carthage to Kosciusko to get a Coke so much more than just worthwhile. 

Happy Anniversary Mama and Daddy, James and Martha, Pete and Tee-Texas-Tot.

 

I love you.

 

We all love you.

 

When Two are Better Faster Stronger Than One

It was on the church bus.

 

They saw each other for the first time.

 

I'm sure for a moment she may have been a little taken back.

 

This freckled face boy with hair long color of yazoo clay and waved like the water that brought him here.

 Brought here for her?

 

And it's in the moments of complete horror and sadness that only our Father can produce joy.

She was always silly.  Never shy or hesitant to make others laugh. 

 

So we weren't sure what was wrong with her on this night. 

 

Her braces had just come off days before and she was excited to turn fifteen.

 

I can imagine Mom shopping and finding that shiny blue wig - no doubt in her mind Shelby would get a kick out of it - no doubt in any of our minds.

 But she didn't.  We all thought it was a game when she wouldn't put it on. 

But it wasn't.  Tears flowed in the back room and nothing - nothing could convince her to give us just one more hat photo to join the collection since she was old enough to know what one was.

 

But then he quietly found her and they whispered in the corner and I remember thinking that my silly bluebird just wanted him to see her as a young woman instead of a little girl.  I remember thinking that night my girl might be in love.

 

And only one - only one person - convinced her. 
 

And that's the moment I fell for him.

 

And they both grew up on the ice and hockey players and figure skaters clash - just a little. And the day came they sought out to prove who was better who was faster who was stronger. 

And she walked through the door after she went down face sliding on ice.

And there was the break-up.

 

And the make-up.

And the break apart.

 

And time.  And the struggle to stay friends.

 

The summer apart.

 

And she didn't know what to do. 

 

And he wanted her back and she wavered scared and only wanted to make this life decision once. 

 

And she was afraid.

 

But I knew she missed the boy.  And on this night sitting and laughing she posted status Will you be my . . .

 

and she waited.  And we laughed and imagined what he was thinking and when she couldn't wait any longer she finished the question and

 

they found their way back.

 

She was barely four when she went on her first trip for Jesus.  I packed her bag and told her we were trippin' for Jesus.  She didn't get it.

 

Her's not white her's not black me don't know what her is.

 

And there, with Native Americans, she began trippin' for Jesus.

 

So when years later took her to Hondurus and she fell grown deeper in love with Jesus and then Tennessee sealed her desire for Him with questions and confusion she came home trying to find her steps and couldn't figure out how to split her heart between the two.

 

Mama, I only want to be in love with Jesus. I don't know how to have room in my heart for more.

 

And then the break.

 

And his heart was broken and he was angry and didn't understand. 

 

And Jesus gently rocked her and led her back.

 

Then hard days came and she hurt and slept. 

I watched him. Wondered what he was thinking.  I'm thinking the time away from her had been a blessing. And while she had been struggling with more love than she knew what to do with he was realizing that no matter what life would be - he wanted it to be with her.

 

She cried.  I don't want Joe to have to spend his life with someone that feels bad so much. 

 

Do you remember when Joe was concerned about you being without him?  You know his concern about dying young, like his dad, and leaving you and children alone?   

 

You thought that was sweet ridiculous.  Even if you knew your time with him would end tomorrow you wouldn't give him up.  You're not giving him and his love for you enough credit.

 

Stop thinking so much, and just love.

 

 

 

And she did.  Because from that moment on the bus there really was never another option, was there, my bluebird love?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. and Mrs. Miles