One Thousand Gifts . . .

The kitchen table is cluttered.  It starts today and last minute preparations are making my head spin.  I'm doing something new this year, a co-op with dear friend Donna in which I will be teaching one of the classes.

I'm not a schoolteacher.  I'm a designer who desperately began trying eleven years ago to teach her children at home and struggled everyday not to just let them color, touch fabrics, and make things look pretty.  Stay outside the lines, not inside.

Now I'll be teaching someone else's children.  A mother with more experience, more children, and more patience than I have.  She's better organized and more goal-oriented than me.  She schedules and plans meals and frugal shops.

But . . .

She's all that and more outside the lines than I am.  I think I'll be alright.

My gratitude list continues . . .

a patient friend

history DVD's

colored pencils

sack lunches

welcoming homes

mechanical pencils

colored glue sticks

dot-to-dots

tracing letters

Target $1 aisle

stickers

blunt scissors

crayons

washable markers

chunky pencils

morning devotions

strawberry muffins

chocolate milk

sour apples

online classes

laptops

alarm clocks

first days

anticipation

My list, #188-210.

She's Doing It . . .

Grace refuses to put a ceiling or a floor on concern for the neighbor. -Joseph Fletcher

She's doing it . . .

even edible roses.

Thanks to all for giving a scared, nervous, and excited young woman a chance.

Thank you for believing in her.

We. Were. All. There. Once.  

And for those of you that remember that - and consider grace over perfection - I bow to you and thank you. 

From both of our hearts.

Max, I Yell

I'm looking everywhere. 

I move the milk and juice, I push aside the water, I knock over the ketchup.

Where could it be?

I scan the other refrigerator shelves and turn to look at the counters.

Where is it?

Then I remember something he said.

Max, I yell.

Rewind to Friday.

You have to take your medicine.

But, I don't ike it.

I know, son, but you have to take it everyday until it is all gone.

It is all gone.

No, until the bottle is empty.

Oh.

But, I don't ike it.

It'll only be a few more days.

Fast forward to this morning.

Max, it's time for your medicine.

It's all gone.

No, baby, it's not all gone.

Yes it is, mommy.

Back to the beginning.

Max, I yell.

Did you throw your medicine away?

Somebo'e did.

Max, look at me.  Did you throw your medicine away?

Yeah.

I jerk open the garbage cabinet door and peer in.  New bag.  Garbage day.

When?  I yell, losing my cool.

Last day.

I say nothing.  I still haven't said anything.  I'm speechless.

Maybe I'll say . . .

Wait till your daddy gets home.

One Thousand Gifts . . .

My gratitude list continues -

Izzy learning to make balloon animals

being in love

husband who is . . .

mechanic

carpenter

garbage man

gardener

bug killer

tickler

teacher

friend

lover

planning with friends

smoothies

magnetic wand thingy for canning

Izzy teaching Max to write letters

thunder

summer rain

buckets

visiting niece

sharpies

lincoln logs

shrimp

needle and thread

empty wrapping paper rolls

clubhouse made of sheets

no cavities

cavities

sisters

old t-shirts

old photographs

gummy vitamins

80's music

new pennies

leg hugs

My list - #153-187.

I Would Be Very Afraid

I think I would be afraid.

The revival sermon is one on obedience.  The wrath of God on disobedient people.

The pastor refers to Joshua, chapter 6, and the destruction of Jericho.

The people of Jericho were afraid.  They were tightly shut up in their walled city because they feared the sons of Israel.  They knew, they had seen and had heard of the parting of the sea.  They feared this God they had turned their backs on.

The walls came down and everyone - everyone - even childen and babies - were killed.

God's wrath, His punishment on a disobedient people.

Hard to hear, hard to imagine.  My throat tightens and I think . . .

I would be afraid, right now, at this moment, if I did not belong to the Father.  If my sins had not been forgiven and I was not one of the redeemed I would be very afraid.

But I was not, for these people did not resonate with me.  I'm one of the redeemed.

Then he continued. 

On the heels of this victory came a devestating loss.  Once again God's chosen had sin in their camp, they broke the covenant, the redeemed were unblessed.  Did you hear me clearly?  The redeemed were unblessed.

This is when I start to squirm.  An unsettling feeling overtakes my zealous confidence.  This isn't new; my brain, heart, and soul were not hearing this for the first time.

Disobedience.  Delayed obedience.  My heart races.

The redeemed punished.

My disobedience lays itself before me and I begin to fear.  This God I love.  This God who gave His life so I could live.  This loving God.  When will my punishment come?  Today?  Tomorrow?  Years from now?

 A God of judgement and wrath.  The part we all want to leave out.

I sit in my pew but in my mind I lay prostrate before Him, ripping my clothes and throwing ground on myself as I cry for mercy.  Forgiveness.

My cry is quickly heard for I am redeemed.  Peace overtakes me as always when forgiveness spreads itself over me like the cloak of love it is, from the God of wrath who is the lover of my soul and who my soul loves.

My God of love.  My Jesus who saved me.

He is hard to fear. 

Because of -

This love that has wrapped itself around me and brought me out of the depths of real fear.  The fear of death and the fear of worse than death.

If He did not belong to me and me to Him . . .

I would be very afraid.

He's Got Me

Be careful.

I say it everyday to He's Too Good To Me.  Right after my morning kiss goodbye, which he gives to me while I'm only half awake, I say - Be careful.

I calculated that I've said it to him at least 20, 760 times, if not more.

Most mornings it's followed by a silent prayer to my Father God - Take care of him, Father.

Yesterday Izzy rode her bike to a neighbor's house.  The rule is she must call when she gets there, even though it's only four houses down.  She did.

But last week she didn't.  Time passed and I began to get that little nagging feeling.  Seconds more passed as I walked outside and strained to see down the street.  My mind started to dance scenarios around.  There's no bike laying in the street, but there's no bike in the drive, either.  Why didn't she call?  And then . . .

I see her, running and playing, forgetting all about me and my be careful.

They leave to drive in their cars, to run errands, to go to work, to go play.  Always with my be careful.

I want them to be safe.

But that's already happened.  They've already been saved.  We're already delivered.  Our future is secure.

But I don't always feel safe.  Pain happens.  Scenarios dance around.  Conflicts abound.

Sometimes I'm a scaredy cat.

My history of scars holds me down from the bravery my God has enstilled in me.

God's name is a place of protection - good people can run there and be safe.  Proverbs 18:10 MSG

This morning through the walls I heard my little Joshua Max, in his sweet boy voice, say -

Be careful, sissy.

Haven't I commanded you?  Strength!  Courage!  Don't be timid; don't get discouraged.  God, your God, is with you every step you take.  Joshua 1:10 MSG

Caution in this world is wise, but worry is not.  The righteous can be free from worry.

Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. 

It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.  Phillipians 4:6-7 MSG

He's got me.  Whatever happens, God's got me.

What the Word? Wednesday

What the Word? Wednesday is back with a song.

I think everyone will know this one.

Enjoy.



My nephew, Jonathan, was quick on this one.  High five, Jonathan - you are exactly right - Victory in Jesus.

Katie and her two precious bugs commented all the correct lyrics.

Since this was taped Maxster has added new lyrics.  He now also sings,

He taught me what He was doling.

Thanks for playing.  See 'ya next week.

Max's First Fish

I Have the Ugliest Dog

. . . in the universe.

She's a sweetie, rescued from a shelter about nine months ago.

My dog, Josie, died in June of last year.  Some anniversaries aren't meant to celebrate, but they roll around anyway. 

Josie was a grand lady and I loved her very much.  There is a window above my washer and dryer that looks into the backyard.  It was Josie's yard - she just shared it with us.

For weeks after she died I couldn't do laundry without crying, my eyes always drawn to the cool spot under the trampoline where she died or the wooden cross in the corner of the yard that marks her grave.  I dug out a book I read several years ago, Heaven, by Randy Alcorn, because I remembered he wrote about pets being in heaven.  Tears would feel my eyes night after night as I tried to sleep because I could feel the lonliness she left and I missed the secure presence that was her in the dark.

So, I replaced her as soon as I could muster the strength.

Or so I tried.

Josie was a beautiful black bordie collie-something, and when I saw this

beauty she tugged at me in a strange way, so we brought her home.  She looked like my Josie-girl.

I love her.  I try to embrace the differences between her and the greatest dog that ever lived.

But . . .

there's this one difference . . .

that is a little hard to get used to.

She went from the above picture . . .

to the ugliest dog in the universe.

She's also camera shy.  And she needs a bath.  And she needs a trim - at least half of her does.

Isn't it weird how she looks like two dogs cut in half and pasted together?

When I do laundry and watch her out the window I can't help but think about the part that looks like it doesn't belong.

Reminds me of the part of me that doesn't belong.  The sinful dirty rebellious not-created-in-His-image part I've embraced.

I look forward to heaven.  To that day when I become brand new.  Where I will not sin - because there will be no sin.

Until then, I'll just have to settle for being ugly.

Do pets go to heaven?  Randy Alcorn writes,

"It would be simple for God to re-create a pet in Heaven. He’s the giver of all good gifts, not the taker of them. If it would please us to have a pet restored to the New Earth, that may be sufficient reason. Consider parents who’ve acquired a pet because of their child’s request."

He also says, "If we believe God is their Creator, that He loves us and them, that He intends to restore His creatures from the bondage they experienced because of our sin, then we have biblical grounds for not only wanting but expecting that we may be with them again on the New Earth."

So, maybe I'll see Josie again.  Maybe my Father will recreate her for me. 

She'd like this dog I named Jessie.  This dog that can't replace her but needed a home and love just the same.  This dog that is a constant reminder to me how ugly I am.  A daily reminder to work on change.

I prayed for God to give me another Josie - guess He thought I needed this more.

Miss you, girl.

What the Word? Wednesday

What the Word? Wednesday is back with a vengence.

This week will stump you all.  Maxster is in fine form with this word - if you can call it that. 

I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say no one will get this right.

Well, maybe Emme.

Good luck, and remember I'll hold all guesses until tomorrow. 

Check back here, same time same blog, for the answer.

Nobody's even close - so here's a little hint.  You follow it and it doesn't start with a G.

That one really wasn't fair of me.  He butchers that word.  If I had not had the help of props when he first said it I never would have figured it out.

Instructions.

It should make everyone feel better to know none of his sisters could guess it either.

Thanks for playing, y'all are alot of fun.