Oswald Chambers said:
"God is not concerned about our plans; He does not say - Do you want to go through this bereavement; this upset? He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, nobler men and women; or they are making us more captious and fault-finding, more insistent upon our own way. The things that happen either make us fiends, or they make us saints; it depends entirely upon the relationship we are in to God."
I read this earlier today and reread it and reread it.
What is a fiend?
To be sure I looked it up. It is what I thought - a devil or demon.
But alongside that was this definition - A person extremely devoted to a pursuit or study. A fanatic.
So . . . if what is happening to me is not making me a saint, then it is making me a fiend. And if I become a fiend due to hardship or unhappiness - or being unsatisfied in the life I have been blessed with - then I will be devoted to this unhappiness. I will nurture it in my anger and bitterness. I will pursue it and study it. I will become a fanatic on unhappiness.
It is not what I wanted, it was not my purpose. But . . . I did not stop it and now it is mine.
Then I will see no light at the end of the hard road I am on.
I will carry everyone I love down with me.
Isn't that what happens to us?
Can't we wallow in our life's misery until there is no silver lining left to find?
There is a certain circumstance in our life that occurs every couple of years, regular as clockwork. I don't do very well during this time. Without a deliverance from above it will be happening very soon.
I'm in preparation mode. Surely - I tell myself - I've matured and will do better this time.
There are seasons in our life. We will be sad. Times will be hard. Depression will shadow us and can consume us. If we do not want that to be our legacy we will turn our face to God and seek satisfaction - and happiness will soon follow.
Death, illness, and broken devotion is out of our control.
Finding peace in it is not.
These are powerful thoughts, and even though I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, how I will handle it is what I am working on. I can pray now for a remembrance of the words of Mr. Chambers - inspired by the word of God.
So . . . to wrap this up on screen and in my heart . . .
for myself and someone I love is this . . .
the more common things, the duty and demands of daily life. We can allow them to explode into an intimate understanding between us and the Father.
An understanding and acceptance that our destiny may be the ordinary. There may never be adventure or wealth.
This is the moment that we will either rise or fall, be powerful or weak. We will walk daily in the unveiled beauty of our life or we will not.
I will be a fiend or I will be a saint.
Oswald Chambers was a Christian minister and teacher who died in 1917 at the age of forty-six. He wrote the popular devotion book My Utmost for His Highest. Think on the words in that title.
. . . it depends entirely upon the relationship we are in with God.
We must not let our ability to see God be blinded by life.
Find joy in the ordinary.
I'll try to meet you there.
Please check my comment below to clarify what I mean when I speak of depression.