I say they panic because I don't. Believe me, I'm not bragging, because there are times when my lack of preparation is shameful. I don't even think of stocking up on the basics. It was Thursday morning at a meeting with other moms when I learned of the lack of bell peppers, which I really didn't care about, but I felt that familiar nudge on my heart that I was once again unprepared. Maybe I should have bought some milk or bread, not because we would be snowed in, but because now there wasn't any. I did manage to find one loaf of light bread. Yuck. No milk.
It was Friday morning before I put much thought into it, but once I got quiet and still and stood watching glorious snow fall from the sky God gently impressed upon my heart His word. Specifically these verses -
“She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.”
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.”
I am not a Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be. I long for it as deeply as I long to be a Mary and not a Martha. The capacity to be this is in my DNA. I was created for it. I am capable - He tells me so. But I manage to fail so often that I feel I need to go out back and cut a switch and meet God out behind the woodshed.
These verses show that a godly woman is prepared for the things to come, she can laugh in the face of uncertainty for she is not caught off guard. Snow is as unpredictable around here as a financial crisis or an illness or any emergency. It can be as simple as me not having showered for two days and my two year old falls off a trailer and cuts his head open, 911 is called, and I spend the afternoon at the hospital in holey sweats and greasy hair. Hypothetically, of course.
As I stood watching the snow gracefully fall - getting all caught up in its beauty and cleanness - I felt that joy of a fresh start again, like the ones He gives me so often. I drank my hot chocolate and recited these verses and prayed for another chance to prove my worth as a wife and mother, but more importantly, as a Christian woman.
Thankfully, snow is sure to fall again. I am sure to fail again. He is sure to forgive again. But, in the meantime, God is working on changing my name, slowly but surely.