He's Too Good To Me and I have been through some deep valleys together - really deep. One day I'm gonna tell you all about it, I'm still working on my nerve - and telling my children first.
Just saying that so you know that these reasons we shouldn't love one another - they don't hold a candle to the reasons we do.
His list comes first. It is my right and prerogative as a woman, and the owner of this blog, to put it in any order I want - and I choose for you to see all his bad stuff last so you will forget about all my bad stuff. There, that's done.
His twenty-one reasons why he should not love me. He gets straight to the point.
#1 - she makes me write on her blog.
#2 - she thinks she is right all of the time. Be sure to check in tomorrow to his list and catch the irony.
#3 - she kicks me out of bed for snoring.
#4 - she is not a morning person. And that, my friends, is an understatement.
#5 - she has no patience. And that, my friends, is an understatement.
#6 - she never just sits and does nothing.
#7 - she forgets my birthday.
#8 - she doesn't want me to have short hair. come on baby, tell the truth, you mean shaved hair.
#9 - she laughed when I asked her to marry me.
#10 - she stays at home too much.
#11 - she doesn't think my IPhone is cool. refer to rie's #15.
#12 - she won't go to the doctor.
#13 - she hogs
#14 - she thinks everything is too expensive.
#15 - she does not keep the interior of her car clean.
#16 - she thinks she has the memory of an elephant.
#17 - she has a ridiculously bad sense of timing - especially when it comes to her memory.
#18 - she makes me carry an icechest to put her blizzards in - which she makes me go get.
#19 - N/A
#20 - N/A
#21 - N/A
excuse me y'all, while I go smooch my husband.
Now my list, and as usual, I'll ramble.
Twenty-one reasons why I should not love him. In no particular order.
#1 - he lied about his age. right. up. until. the. moment. we. got. our. marriage. license. the kicker - he only told the truth then because his parents had to sign for him. the double kicker - his mom had to tell me.
#2 - he doesn't have any gray hair that shows (excluding his beard) - which makes him look ten years (instead of the two he is) younger than me when I forget or am too lazy to color and my hair gets all nappy and wirey and gray.
#3 - he cannot spell - which means he asks me - which means I must admit ever so often to not knowing everything - which goes against the natural grain of my being.
#4 - he snores. 'Nuff said there, right ladies? Squoosh on over here and let's talk about how bad our men snore.
#5 - he does not like chicken.
#6 - he won't eat my chicken, in spite of #5.
#7 - he won't fix the backdoor.
#8 - he won't watch Turner Classic Movies with me late at night - which means I don't get to take Cary Grant or William Holden or Jimmy Stewart to bed with me.
#9 - he rarely does anything the first time he is
#10 - he doesn't like to grill - I thought all men liked to grill.
#11 - he falls asleep while I'm talking - go figure.
#12 - he forgets to pump my gas so I don't have to - they really should rewrite the marriage vows, Wilt thou love, honor, obey, and pump her gas for her so she doesn't have to?
#13 - he doesn't have stretch marks, cellulite, or a fallen butt.
#14 - he hates to read.
#15 - he plays with his IPhone too much, especially when I'm rambling about something.
#16 - he won't put me up a new mailbox.
#17 - he procrastinates - which explains the back door, and the mailbox, and . . .
#18 - he has a metabolism that works - compared to mine that retired years ago.
#19 - I believe you can build a new shed out back out of anything old laying around or any old torn down buildings you see. I call it recycling. He calls it impossible.
#20 - he rarely does anything the first time he is
#21 - he can't be fixed.
But . . .